I recently visited upstairs at Walsh, the building I work at currently. My office used to be on the second floor, but a few years ago we all moved together on the first floor and our old offices are vacant. But we still use the Chapel on that floor, and I visited it as well. While there I noticed the pictures of former Maryknollers (staff & missioners) who have passed away on the wall outside the Chapel. I’d like to talk about two who influenced me in important ways.
The first person was Larry McKinney. He was a long-time maintenance person at Bethany, who was loved by the staff and missioners who stayed there for orientation. I didn’t know him more than to say hello to and exchange small talk. But when he retired, I was impressed by the fact that one of the first things he did was take a trip to Africa and visited the missioners there. I was so envious; for the next 20 years I would dream of following in his footsteps.
Now as my own retirement is very near, I have made the arrangements to go to Africa myself. My dream is finally being realized, and I just want to offer a prayer of thanks to Larry for putting the idea into my head.
The other person was a missioner I met in my first couple of years here at Maryknoll Lay Missioners. His name was Ted Lanpher. He had retired and was living his dream of being a missioner to Peru, but then he was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer during what would be his only three-year contract. He came back to the U.S. for medical treatment and to be with his family. He stopped by our offices and visited with every staff person, including me (whom he had never met).
I remember that visit like it happened yesterday. We talked about each other’s lives, but whenever I was speaking I felt like he was totally focused on me. He looked into my eyes, and he listened to everything I said. It was a powerful, positive sensation. I had never had a conversation like that with anyone. I felt like I had been in a trance.
A few months later, Ted returned for a final visit. When he came around to see me, he seemed to remember everything we had talked about. Once again, he focused 100% on me whenever I spoke. I was stunned. With all the things he was going through—cancer treatments, visiting the people he loved, and preparing for his own death—where did he find time for me, a stranger whom he had only one twenty-minute conversation with? These two conversations inspired me; he had become someone I wanted to model my own behavior after.
I recently attended my final meeting with the anti-racism task force, and they shared some farewells with me. I have felt like I am the least important person on that committee. I mainly listen and occasionally comment on what we’ve been discussing. One of the members said to me that she appreciated that I was actively listening to her during meetings, and she felt that was a rare quality to find in people. Maybe I have grown as a result of my time with Ted (and Larry), brief though it was with both.
I think we all have special people out there looking for us. I have been so fortunate to have spent time with so many terrific, awe-inspiring people. I urge you to be open to that person wanting your attention. They may change your life more than you affect theirs. Don't let your Larry or Ted go by unnoticed.
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