Life-Changing Encounters

 

I recently visited upstairs at Walsh, the building I work at currently. My office used to be on the second floor, but a few years ago we all moved together on the first floor and our old offices are vacant. But we still use the Chapel on that floor, and I visited it as well. While there I noticed the pictures of former Maryknollers (staff & missioners) who have passed away on the wall outside the Chapel. I’d like to talk about two who influenced me in important ways.

The first person was Larry McKinney. He was a long-time maintenance person at Bethany, who was loved by the staff and missioners who stayed there for orientation. I didn’t know him more than to say hello to and exchange small talk. But when he retired, I was impressed by the fact that one of the first things he did was take a trip to Africa and visited the missioners there. I was so envious; for the next 20 years I would dream of following in his footsteps.

Now as my own retirement is very near, I have made the arrangements to go to Africa myself. My dream is finally being realized, and I just want to offer a prayer of thanks to Larry for putting the idea into my head.

The other person was a missioner I met in my first couple of years here at Maryknoll Lay Missioners. His name was Ted Lanpher. He had retired and was living his dream of being a missioner to Peru, but then he was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer during what would be his only three-year contract. He came back to the U.S. for medical treatment and to be with his family. He stopped by our offices and visited with every staff person, including me (whom he had never met).

I remember that visit like it happened yesterday. We talked about each other’s lives, but whenever I was speaking I felt like he was totally focused on me. He looked into my eyes, and he listened to everything I said. It was a powerful, positive sensation. I had never had a conversation like that with anyone. I felt like I had been in a trance.

A few months later, Ted returned for a final visit. When he came around to see me, he seemed to remember everything we had talked about. Once again, he focused 100% on me whenever I spoke. I was stunned. With all the things he was going through—cancer treatments, visiting the people he loved, and preparing for his own death—where did he find time for me, a stranger whom he had only one twenty-minute conversation with? These two conversations inspired me; he had become someone I wanted to model my own behavior after.

I recently attended my final meeting with the anti-racism task force, and they shared some farewells with me. I have felt like I am the least important person on that committee. I mainly listen and occasionally comment on what we’ve been discussing. One of the members said to me that she appreciated that I was actively listening to her during meetings, and she felt that was a rare quality to find in people. Maybe I have grown as a result of my time with Ted (and Larry), brief though it was with both.

I think we all have special people out there looking for us. I have been so fortunate to have spent time with so many terrific, awe-inspiring people. I urge you to be open to that person wanting your attention. They may change your life more than you affect theirs. Don't let your Larry or Ted go by unnoticed.

Our Trip to Brazil: A Reflection

I have worked for Maryknoll Lay Missioners for over 23 years. Almost from the beginning I have wanted to go see the missioners where they worked, but I couldn't afford to go.

Personally, however, it remained very important to me, more so as the years went on. So now, on the verge of retirement,  I can finally afford to go. I planned for months, and I talked about it with my close friend Marci. She said, "This is more important to you then the Camino, isn't it?"

 

I knew she was right. The Camino had been a powerful experience, but it was up to me to derive the meaning from it. There was no direct connection to my life. This pilgrimage, to Brazil, was deeply personal. I came to MKLM to do meaningful work that would make the world in some small way a better place. My job was part of that, but indirectly. I would meet the missioners and hear stories about their work, but I longed for direct exposure. Now I would finally make the journey with Mary by my side to see what all my efforts had been supporting. Was I helping to make the world a better place?

 

We spent about 9 days in Brazil from October 14th to October 22nd, and the whole time I felt like I was in Heaven. As I reflect on those days, the thing that strikes me the most was the kindness and generosity of the missioners who basically took care of us while we were with them. They welcomed us into their world and helped us see what they were doing there.

It is very difficult to find people in Brazil that speak English. I thought that people who worked at hotels and restaurants would speak English. This was true to some extent in Rio, but not in Sao Paulo, Joao Passoa or Olinda. The few who spoke English didn't speak it very well. It led to some comical situations. I called the front desk to say there was a problem with the television. The clerk asked, "Do you want two?"  That puzzled me, two televisions? When help arrived, it was an employee carrying two towels. Fortunately, he knew how to fix the television.

The missioners were always going above and beyond in helping us with the language hurdle. When we first arrived in Sao Paulo, Joanne spoke to the clerk about checking us in early. She resisted, as the lobby was filled with people waiting to get into their rooms (it was a holiday weekend). Joanne pointed out Mary and told the clerk that Mary wasn’t feeling well and really needed to lie down (Mary was actually just tired from the 9 hour flight). The clerk checked us in, and the manager cut the early check-in fee in half.

After spending the day with Margarita at the favela where she worked, she took us to our hotel, and then she came in to speak to the desk clerk because we were having problems with our Wifi (critical in keeping contact with the missioners). When they told us we would have to move to another floor, Margarita came up to our room and helped us pack and move our belongings to the 12^th floor. When she left, she asked us if we needed anything else or if she could do anything else for us (the standard parting from all the missioners in Sao Paulo).

We kept Kathy busy in Joao Pessoa with arranging our day trips for us (not that we asked her to). We wanted to go to Olinda (a very scenic town overlooking the Atlantic Ocean), which was a two-hour drive from Joao Pessoa. She contacted Franciso at our hotel to find us a driver. He found one, but once the driver found out we didn’t speak Portuguese he refused to take us. More phone calls and bargaining from Kathy.

Eventually, Francisco, who had the day off, drove us back and forth for a six hour day trip. We all had lunch together at a restaurant Kathy had chosen, which had an incredible dish featuring fish in a cream sauce baked in a pumpkin. We ate the pumpkin as well as the fish, and we needed three people to finish the dish. Franciso also drove us to the Mirante Skybeach to see the sunset from the tallest building in Joao Pessoa, again thanks to Kathy’s work.

And it wasn’t just the missioners who treated us with the utmost kindness and generosity. A small woman with glasses was our waitress at the daily breakfast buffet at the hotel in Joao Pessoa. We would fill up our plates at the buffet, and as long as we were seated she would come by with other plates of food for us to try. With the help of my Google translator, I told her that everything was delicious, and her face lit up as she pulled me by the arm over to the omelet chef to let her know what I had said. The next two days she would rush over whenever she saw us and continue to bring us plates of food. When we left after our last breakfast, I wrote her a message on my translator: “Today is our last day. We just wanted to thank you for your kindness to us. You brought joy to us each morning. Richard & Mary.” She grabbed my phone and wrote the following: “I call myself Andrea. You two guys have been a prayer to me.” The translation could have been better, but we got the message. She shook my hand and Mary gave her a big hug.

There are more stories I could tell, so many kind and loving gestures from the missioners and others we met. I believe God has called on us to love each other and help each other.

 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor? … The one who had mercy on him.” Luke 10: 36, 37

That’s what I received through this trip, a feeling of being loved and that there were people looking after us. If we all treated each other this way, what a wonderful community we would be.  

 

"How's Your Lent Going?"

I received an email from a friend with this question about my Lent. I have to admit that's the first time anyone has ever asked me that. I paused a moment, then I tried to answer her question:

 "I have fallen down a bit on my normal spiritual practices, and I was feeling guilty about it. But then I read an article from a magazine by a group of Episcopal Brothers (I’m nothing if not loyal to my faith) about “the practice of the presence of God.” The author writes that if you’re having difficulty finding time for your practice, “It’s not that you need to give more time to your spiritual practice; but rather you might need to broaden your sense of what a “spiritual practice” is.”

I have struggled with the idea of what a spiritual practice is. I like to define what something is and is not. When I do Centering prayer, that is a spiritual practice. When I walk in the woods just enjoying the outdoors, that is not. My spiritual director has tried to correct me in these beliefs, but they are hard for me to accept.

The author of the article also spoke about Br. Lawrence of the Resurrection, one of my favorite Christian mystics. He strove to be aware of God constantly, whatever he was doing. I picked up my copy of The Practice and Presence of God and began rereading it. I especially appreciated the section where Brother Lawrence says that he sometimes forgets about God and feels guilty about it. But then he realizes that God forgives him, so he forgets about his mistake and continues to try to be ever-conscious of God's presence.

I think I get caught up in striving for perfection, and, as a result, I am continually disappointing myself. I think the key lesson Br. Lawrence teaches me is to let "perfection" go. God forgives me. I can't go back in the past and change things. My only choice is to move forward, to continue what I have started, to pick myself up and walk further on the path I have chosen.

There is yet another lesson: I will never ever be in "constant prayer," and if I forget to pray, its okay. There are still things I will learn and appreciate without being in prayer or meditating. It's okay to go on a walk and just enjoy the scenery. It can still be a spiritual experience. I wrote in an earlier post about the podcast which they begin by asking, "Where have you seen God this week?" When I look back on my week, I frequently remember times that included a "God sighting" without recognizing it as such at the moment. When I open my eyes I see things that I may not understand or appreciate until later. That can be a joy as well.

Brother Lawrence had an incredible spiritual awareness, and many people came to ask him advice, but he still washed the dishes (ineptly, apparently) and performed other duties around the monastery. A powerful spiritual experience can happen anywhere, at any time. You don't have to be alone, praying in silence by a lit candle, to experience God. I will strive to be open to that.

I'm Just Passing Through

     I've been trying to write about my plans to hike the Camino to Santiago for a while now, but I wasn't quite sure how to approach the topic. Then I read this story in a book I've been reading, The Restless Heart, by Ronald Rolheiser:

    "In the nineteenth century, a tourist from America paid a visit to the renowned Polish rabbi Hofetz Chaim. The tourist was astonished to see that the rabbi's home was only a simple room filled with books, plus a table and a bench. "Rabbi," asked the tourist, "where is your furniture?"

    "Where is yours?" replied Hofetz Chaim.

    "Mine?" asked the puzzled American. "But I'm only a visitor here. I am only passing through."

    "So am I," said the rabbi."

     And so are we all. One moment you are studying drama in high school and suddenly you are 69 years old and wondering if you should retire. "Pay attention," a wise friend of mine once said, "This will all be over in the blink of an eye."

    With that in mind, I want to make the best of my remaining days on earth before they disappear like dust blown away by the wind. I have found myself led by God to a contemplative lifestyle, and one of the benefits of that process has been a slowing down of time. The more attention you pay to what's important in your life, the longer it seems to last. When you are too busy paying attention to minutiae the big things pass by you in a blur.

       One way of intensifying attention is by stripping away distractions. That's why I am planning to hike the Camino Portuguese from Tui to Santiago this September. A few years ago, the Executive Director of Maryknoll Lay Missioners (MKLM) sent out a reflection on St. James' feast day (July 25) in which he spoke about the Camino to Santiago (relics of St. James are in the cathedral in Santiago). It is one of three major pilgrimages in the Catholic Church (the other two are to Rome and to Jerusalem). I had never heard about it before, but reading that reflection resonated deeply within me. I knew I wanted to do it, even if I wasn't sure why.

    Mary made a deal with me: she would go with me on the Camino for a week, if we spent the following week going to places in Spain where she would like to go.  In a week, walking from Tui to Santiago, I will travel over 100 kilometers, which would qualify me for a compostella, a religious certificate saying that I have completed the pilgrimage. Plus after a week of hiking, I think I will be ready for some old-fashioned tourism.

     The thing about hiking the Camino in Spain on vacation is that I will be away from work and away from my daily routine. Looking at a guide to the Camino Portuguese, I should be hiking from 10 to 12 miles each day, except the last day, which will be over 15 miles. There won't be much pressing on my mind beyond taking each step, looking around, and dealing with whatever thoughts and emotions arise.

    We originally made plans to go in September 2020, but then Covid changed our plans. This year, I feel things will be settled enough where we will feel comfortable going. I also don't want to wait too long, because as I noted above, I am 69 years old and will turn 70 in November. I have been keeping a walking regimen, and feel I should be able to handle the hike, but that may change, so the sooner the better. Mary originally wanted to do some of the hiking with me, but it appears she won't be up to the physical challenge.

    The plan is to stay in hotels. Each morning I would go off on my hike and Mary would look about the town before taking a taxi to meet me for lunch along the way. After lunch, she would take a taxi to the town where we would spend the night. I may be walking with my friend from work, Maryknoll Lay Missioner Deborah Northern. Debbie would be very helpful, because she is fluent in Spanish, while Mary and I are not. 

    In preparation, I joined the member organization American Pilgrims on the Camino, and last fall I hiked with some of the members along the Hudson River. We walked from Tarrytown to Yonkers, about 12 miles. I had no problems, which convinced me this is doable. I also had my first experience walking with people who have walked the Camino, and they were the friendliest, most encouraging, and nicest bunch of people you could walk with. I hope to do a couple more hikes with them before September.

    I also posted a question about our mixed taxi/walking plan on their Facebook site, and I received much encouragement there as well, including one person who offered to talk to me via phone about her "taxi Camino" experience. The more I read and learn about the Camino experience, the more apparent that this is a journey that changes the lives of most people who do it. Many people hike the Camino multiple times. They also have a strong sense of community, because if ever someone needs help along the way, there is another person who will do their best to help. There are many stories of complete strangers reaching out to someone in need.

    I don't know how I will feel afterwards. But I think that this hike will be an important, spiritual experience, and I very well may meet people that will be friends for life. I am excited by the possibilities.

    So for a week, I hope to be just passing through Spain, one step at a time, learning something about a place I've never been and about the people I meet on the way. I will be walking my first pilgrimage, and I hope to tell you about it this fall.

    Meanwhile, I hope you have a safe journey on your pilgrimage through life, and that you find wisdom and joy at the end of it. ¡Buen Camino!

To Be a Witness

My favorite occasion in the yearly cycle at Maryknoll Lay Missioners (MKLM) is the Covenant Signing Ceremony. Every year (except for last year), the candidates for mission come in for orientation, which currently lasts about 8 weeks. This is a time for discernment and preparation for the time either overseas or at the border with Mexico. Almost every year someone leaves during the orientation period, either because there is a realization that they are not a good fit for MKLM’s type of mission or they decide they’re just not ready yet and plan on returning at a later date. This year, all 13 candidates made it through the orientation and signed their contracts to become missioners. 

After they sign their contracts, there is a ceremony soon after where they sign their covenants. The contract is a legal document laying out the terms of agreement for their time in mission. The Covenant, on the other hand, is a spiritual and religious commitment to their time in mission. As I understand it, there is no legal obligation involved, but as a religious mission organization the Covenant is, to my mind anyway, the more important one. I will end this blog post with a copy of the Maryknoll Lay Missioners Covenant. 

The best thing about the ceremony is that it takes place during the work week and all staff is invited to observe. The ceremony is created by each orientation class, so every year it is different. One year I remember it was particularly exuberant. Another year, the songs sung were an especially important element. This year’s I would characterize as meditative with a beautiful liturgy. We had a mass, with a Maryknoll priest presiding. I always love the Covenant signing. 

This year’s would turn out to be particularly moving and memorable to me. The centerpiece of each ceremony is the actual signing of the Covenant. Each missioner is called up one at a time to sign their personal covenant. There is a person who witnesses each signing by adding their signature to the document. Most years, it is someone the missioner has chosen for personal reasons. It could be a family member, a priest or a sister who was particularly important to them spiritually…anyone they would like. In the past, two or three missioners have called upon me to be their witness, which is an honor I am always thankful for the opportunity to perform.

We had to limit attendance to staff and a handful of representatives from the Fathers and the Sisters this year. Irene, the head of our Mission Services Department, witnessed all but one of the new missioners’ covenants. But I had the tremendous honor of witnessing the Covenant of my friend and former coworker, Laurie.

 Let me go back in time a moment. For three years, from 2014 to 2016, Laurie was the major gifts officer in my department and had the office next door to mine. We became good friends. I would usually stop by each morning to check in with her and to share any news of my own. I think Laurie is extremely creative and intelligent. When we would make the department presentation to the candidates each year, I loved to watch Laurie’s presentation. It showed off her talent and experience and was also somehow intensely meditative and spiritual. It seemed to me to be the most suitable and personal offering for her to make as a representative of MKLM. 

Then Laurie moved on to another organization, and I lost that daily contact with her. We touched base occasionally through social media, and I knew that she was still involved and interested in MKLM by taking Friends Across Borders trips to visit our mission sites. But we had really lost touch with our daily lives. The day the candidates arrived at Maryknoll to begin orientation, we had a staff luncheon with them. That was the first moment I realized Laurie was one of the candidates. We greeted each other with a big hug. I was so excited that even though she will be going to Tanzania, a lot farther away geographically from me than she was before, this was for me a new part of my journey that I would be able to share with my friend Laurie. 

The final gift was a couple of weeks before the ceremony, I was on my lunchtime walk with coworker Eileen and we ran into Laurie on the same path. She asked me if I would be her witness. It was such a blessing. We weren’t even sure at that point that staff would be allowed to attend, but if it was possible, she wanted me to be her witness. I checked with Mission Services, and I guess they didn’t even know for sure then, but two days before the ceremony I found out I could witness Laurie’s signing. 

When the time came, I was surprised at how moved I was. Eventually, I figured out that when I witnessed for other missioners in the past, I had really only known them for two to three months. I felt close to each of them, but it was really just a beginning in our relationships. Laurie is the first missioner I have known before he/she arrived for orientation. I have such respect and love for her based on our previous relationship that this was a real honor for me. I am so thankful she asked me, and I am so happy that we will continue to be in touch, at least via email, while she’s in mission.

 Here is the Covenant she signed:

 “Guided by the Gospel and the Mission Vision of Maryknoll Mission Association of the Faithful, and grounded in the spirit and history of the Maryknoll movement, I pledge:

 • To participate in Jesus’ mission, contributing to the construction of God’s reign of justice and peace on earth;

 • To work with poor and marginalized peoples in cross-cultural mission, striving to create just structures and relationships;

 • To celebrate the holiness of everyday life;

 • To weave connections of mutual understanding and solidarity among people worldwide, thus opening my heart and life to ongoing conversion;

 • To build and strengthen relations with the people of the U.S. Catholic Church, who send and support me in mission.

In order to live out our mission vocation, we, as members of Maryknoll Mission Association of the Faithful, covenant with each other, before God, that we will:

 • Support and challenge each other, creating and living in communities that witness to Jesus’ mandate to love one another;

 • Consider and treat each other as equals and support each other’s growth and well-being;

 • Welcome the gifts and vocational charisms of each member;

 • Reflect, worship and celebrate together;

 • Accept the responsibilities and rewards which come with being accountable to one another, our sending communities, the local Church and Maryknoll Lay Missioners Leadership.

 Through this covenant we commit ourselves to mission as members of Maryknoll Mission Association of the Faithful, in the firm hope that our faith and actions will transform our lives, our organization, and our world through the power of God’s love. As members, we recognize that, we strive together for justice, peace, and fullness of life, and so our ministries are offered in response to the needs of the people with whom we live and work, and with respect for the integrity of all creation.”

May I add my personal Amen. Each day I try to look out for God’s gifts; this is one I will cherish.